Created for mothers of girls ages 9-14, BigTalks for Girls gives you the tools to navigate sensitive conversations with your daughter about her adolescent development within a Torah framework, while giving her a healthy, positive perspective of herself and her changing body.
“I don’t know where to start—or how”
“I’m not sure how much or how little I should share”
“I’m worried that I might say the wrong thing”
“I don’t want to overwhelm her or make her anxious”
“I need to undo harmful messaging she’s absorbed from her peers”
“I want to give her both the right hashkafah and the right information”
If you’ve ever had any of these concerns, you’re not alone.
How do we know? Because these are real quotes from real mothers. Mothers trying to raise healthy girls and instill them with Torah values. Mothers like you.
Talking to your daughter about the physical and emotional changes she’s experiencing can be intimidating, especially if these conversations were not modeled for you when you were her age.
You may wonder:
What’s the best way to broach these ideas for the first time?
How do I know what information she’s ready for?
How do I discuss these delicate topics in a way that enhances my daughter’s self-esteem, preserves her innocence, keeps her safe, and is aligned with Torah hashkafos?
You asked. We listened.
After the success of our BigTalks Toolkit for Boys, which has been translated into 4 languages and sold over 2,500 copies in just one year, we received an outpouring of requests for a similar resource for mothers of pre-teen and teen girls.
Developed in close consultation with mechanchos, therapists, and specialists, BigTalks for Girls was carefully designed to empower mothers with the confidence to have crucial conversations with their daughters while planting seeds of trust and openness.
Because it’s not just one “talk.” It’s the beginning of a bond that will lay the foundation for candid, ongoing communication throughout her teenage years and beyond.
What are the goals of BigTalks for Girls?
Communication
Become your daughter’s trusted go-to source for information, especially regarding sensitive topics relating to adolescence.
Hashkafah
Empower your daughter to develop healthy self-esteem and a positive self-image based on her inherent worth as a tzelem Elokim and her identity as a neshama within a guf.
Education
Prepare your daughter for the changes that happen to her body as she grows, normalize these changes, and reassure her that she’s not alone.
Safety
Teach your daughter about personal boundaries, what to do if those boundaries are violated, and how to protect herself from unhealthy people and unsafe situations.
What’s included?
The Guidebook
- Tips on how to make yourself an “askable” parent
- Step-by-step guidance for initiating and navigating delicate discussions through the lens of Torah hashkafa. Topics include:
- Physical and emotional changes
- Weight and dieting
- Personal hygiene
- Getting her period
- Setting boundaries
- Personal safety
- Babysitting safety
- Bite-sized conversation starters, talking points, scripts, stories, and mashalim
- Commonly asked questions and answers
- A tear-out card for your daughter with practical advice on what to do the first time she gets her period and other tips related to adolescent changes.
The Presentation
- A short video presentation by Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, MA LCPC that covers the topics in the guide, which you can watch on your own and/or with your daughter.
What will my daughter learn?
A concept of inherent self-worth based on her connection with Hashem and her infinite value as a tzelem Elokim
How to respect and appreciate her body as a partner to her neshama, while also valuing her neshama as paramount.
What to expect in the coming years as her body develops, and how to take care of her health and body during these changes.
How to maintain the privacy of her body while avoiding ill-intending individuals and unsafe situations
What will I (as the parent) learn?
How to know the right time to speak to your daughter, and how to broach these subjects in ways that she’ll be receptive to.
How to present sensitive topics in a positive, comforting way via both verbal communication and body language.
How to clearly and accurately respond to your daughter’s questions about adolescence and puberty
Professional guidance, referrals, and information rooted in both Torah and mental health resources
You may not have all the answers.
But you can help her feel safe to ask the questions.
Praise for BigTalks for Girls
Meet our contributors
Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, MA LCPC
Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, LCPC, holds a Master’s Degree from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology in Clinical Psychology, and has a background in cognitive behavioral therapy, trauma work, and EMDR. For ten years Mrs. Zimmerman was the Director of Project Shield, an education and abuse prevention program in Chicago’s frum schools. She currently runs a private practice and continues to do workshops in schools and camps across the country on boundaries, body development, and staying safe. She is also a dynamic writer and public speaker on boundaries, abuse prevention, healing, and healthy relationships.
Mrs. Bella Kaufman
Mrs. Bella Kaufman’s two decades of chinuch experience began in Monsey, NY, where she taught ninth and tenth grade in Bais Yaakov of Ramapo. She then worked as a teacher and mechaneches for seminaries in Eretz Yisrael before relocating to Chicago in 2009. After teaching at various girls’ elementary and high schools in Chicago, Mrs. Kaufman took on an administrative position in Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov, where she currently serves as the assistant principal of the Junior High division. In this capacity, she delivers a series of hashkafah classes to bas mitzvah girls, as well as personal safety workshops (in collaboration with Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, LCPC) to sixth, seventh and eighth graders.
The toolkit has also benefited from the invaluable input of mechanchos, therapists, and specialists who helped review and refine it, including:
- Mrs. Dina Cohen, MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, founder of EatWellSoon
- Mrs. Edie Davis, RN.
- Mrs. Goldy Gorelick, LCSW, trauma specialist, and Hebrew teacher at Shiras Devorah High School in Lakewood
- Mrs. Tamar Sullivan, MSW
- Dr. Chani Tessler, Ph.D., Vice Provost of Touro College Illinois
What happens next?
How it works
Purchase the program, and we’ll mail the toolkit, which includes the guidebook and the video presentation.
Read the guide and watch the video, so that you’re equipped to answer questions as they arise.
Address the topics with your daughter as needed. She can also watch the video when you feel she’s ready.
Remember—this isn’t just one “talk”! Check in with your daughter regularly to see if she has any questions or concerns.
If you have any questions or would like a referral, we welcome you to reach out to us at: info@bigtalks.org