Skip links

Your child’s bar or bas mitzvah is fast approaching.

Book a BigTalks Schmooze

Equip your child with the knowledge and skills to navigate their teenage years.

Give them a strong Torah foundation and a positive self-image.

Foster open, respectful communication with your child for years to come.

“I’ve observed a clear difference in the boys who have participated [in BigTalks’ Coaching]. They stand out as well-guided and informed. In challenging situations, it’s evident that they have the tools and understanding to handle issues effectively. This education truly makes a noticeable impact.”

Harav Mordechai Eisenbach, Menahel, Telshe Chicago

Do you answer “yes” to any of these?

Struggling with how to prepare your child for the emotional and physical changes of adolescence?

Seeking a Torah-aligned approach to educating your child without inadvertently causing shame or guilt?

Concerned about your child learning sensitive information from unreliable sources?

You're not alone.

At BigTalks, we’re here to support your child (and you!) through these transformative years of their life.

How it works

Our coaching journey begins with a 45-minute “schmooze,” a vital first step to empower both you and your child in handling sensitive yet crucial topics. This session is divided into two parts: one for you and one for your child.

25-minute Parent Consultation:

This session focuses on preparing you to foster a supportive and knowledgeable environment for your child’s development.

20-minute Personalized Child Conversation:

Tailored specifically to your child’s needs, this conversation offers psychoeducation about their development. It addresses their questions, challenges, and concerns, ensuring the content is appropriate for their maturity and awareness levels.

Investment: $360

Post-session support

When you purchase a schmooze, you will also receive:

Access to the BigTalks Digital Toolkit, including the downloadable guidebook and video:

  • The Guidebook offers parents resources on managing teenage behavior, establishing boundaries, fostering modesty, knowing when to seek professional help, addressing common questions, and enhancing communication with their child.
  • The video presentation models the schmooze the coach had with your child, allowing you to use the same terminology when you speak to them

Annual Check-Ins for 3 Years:

These brief follow-up sessions with your child offer continued support and provide an opportunity to address any new questions or issues that arise over time.

You can also purchase additional coaching sessions at a discounted rate for a more in-depth exploration of personal development or other specific areas your child is interested in, tailored to their needs.

Some of the topics we’ll explore

In our comprehensive conversation, we delve into fundamental topics that are essential for your child’s development.

Our goal is to cultivate self-awareness, encourage open lines of communication, and develop reliable support systems—so your child can navigate these transformative years feeling confident and supported.

Life’s Purpose

Exploring the deeper meaning and spiritual significance of life in the context of Yiddishkeit

The Natural Changes of Puberty

Addressing the physical and emotional transformations that occur during puberty, providing a clear Torah perspective.

Awareness of & Navigating Challenges

Cultivating an understanding of the typical obstacles adolescents face and offering strategies and insights to help your child manage these challenges

Resilience After Setbacks

Teaching the importance of resilience and how to bounce back from life’s obstacles with strength and faith.

Personal Safety & Boundaries

Ensuring your child understands the importance of personal safety, boundaries, and privacy while eliminating any association with shame.

Open Lines of Communication

Encouraging and facilitating open, honest communication between you and your child, fostering a supportive family environment.

Halachos Pertaining to Kedusha

Discussing relevant Jewish ideas to deepen your child’s understanding of their Yiddishkeit and its practical application in daily life.

What parents and educators are saying about BigTalks’ Coaching

Frequently asked questions

What should I tell my child about the scheduled meeting?

You can inform your child that you’ve arranged a meeting with a Bar/Bas Mitzvah coach. This coach specializes in helping children smoothly transition into their teenage years. The meeting will address the physical and emotional changes they’ll experience as they grow, providing them with essential information and preparation. The coach will also serve as a supportive figure whom your child can turn to for help or guidance whenever needed.

Is this a new program?

BigTalks developed this program in 2019 (תש”ע) with the guidance of gedolei Yisroel and rabbanim. Since then, we have successfully conducted this Schmooze with nearly 1000 pre-teens. Our toolkits, designed for parents and mechanchim, have been widely published and utilized globally. The Bar/Bas Mitzvah coaching program is a pilot initiative aimed at expanding this preventative education to pre-teens worldwide.

Will my son also learn hilchos tefillin, leining, haftorah, or his pshetel during BigTalks’ Bar Mitzvah coaching?

No, the focus of this coaching program is on personal growth and equipping your son with the necessary skills to navigate his teenage years. It does not include training in leining, haftorah, or delivering a pshetel.

My child’s first language is Yiddish; do the BigTalks counselors speak Yiddish?

Yes, We have counselors who are fluent in Yiddish, English, and conversational Hebrew. We ensure that communication is clear and comfortable for your child.

Will this support my child throughout their teenage years?

Currently, BigTalks offers this program primarily for early teenagers. We are developing an advanced program tailored for 16-year-olds, and our counselors can provide support for teenagers and young adults of all ages.

What if my child requires additional support?

Our BigTalks counselors are attentive to any concerns and can provide extra support as needed for both boys and girls.

What does "virtual" in the context of the Bar/Bas Mitzvah coaching mean?

“Virtual” refers to live sessions conducted online via a computer or tablet, allowing for interactive and engaging discussions in a virtual setting.

My child is already bar/bas mitzvah; is it too late for them to participate in the coaching program?

No, it’s not too late. Our coaching program is beneficial throughout the teenage years for both boys and girls. In some cases, it may be too early to start, but it’s never too late. If you’re unsure, please feel free to contact us for guidance.

If my child is more than a year away from their bar/bas mitzvah, is it premature to enroll them in the coaching program?

In today’s fast-paced world, children are encountering the complexities of puberty and adolescence earlier than ever, sometimes as young as 9 or 10. While it might seem daunting to initiate conversations about such mature topics at this stage, addressing your child’s curiosity and concerns about their changing body and emotions is crucial for their mental well-being. Early discussion can alleviate much of the confusion, frustration, and anxiety they may face later. Trust your instincts—if you feel it’s time to guide your child through these changes, our coaching program is designed to support you and your child through this critical period, even before they reach bar or bas mitzvah age.

Which Rabbanim are familiar and comfortable with the BigTalks program?

Baruch Hashem, many rabbanim are familiar with and supportive of our program. For instance, R’ Chaim Kanievsky ZT”L gave his bracha after learning about our program, wishing for it to result in a kiddush Hashem. Other notable rabbanim include R’ Gamilel Rabinovitz, R’ Yaakov Meir Schechter, the Navomintzker Rebbe ZT”L, R’ Avrohom Chaim Levin ZT”L, R’ Shmuel Y. Levin ZT”L, R’ Elya Ber Wachtfogel, R’ Aron Feldman, R’ Shmuel Kamenetzky, R’ Shmuel Fuerst, R’ Yosef Elefant, R’ Binyamin Eisenberger, R’ Yaakov Bender, and the Vaad Hachinuch of Torah Umesorah, among many others. We encourage discussing the program with your local Rov for his approval.

Who are the BigTalks coaches?

BigTalks is actively training counselors from diverse cultural backgrounds to become certified BigTalks coaches. This inclusive approach ensures that parents from any group, including Yeshivish, Chassidish, Heimish, and all levels of Judaism, can find a coach who resonates with their cultural identity. Once our counselors are certified, we will update our website with their bios and availability. For this pilot program, Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum, MSMFT and founder of BigTalks, will be coaching the boys, while Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, LCSW and co-author of the BigTalks Girls toolkit, will be coaching the girls. Please note, as we train other professionals from various Jewish communities to become certified BigTalks coaches, trainees may join the virtual sessions. Rest assured, all information shared will remain confidential.

My child already received the BigTalks conversation, is it helpful to also have a coaching session?

If your child has already participated in the BigTalks conversation and you believe they could benefit from additional support, open communication, or ongoing check-ins and coaching, then scheduling a coaching session can be helpful.

Some conversations shouldn’t wait

As your child approaches this pivotal moment in their life, you can ensure they’re prepared for the significant changes and challenges they’ll face. At BigTalks, we’re here to help you and your child navigate this transition with confidence and peace of mind. Get started today!