Your party hall is booked. Your son’s tefillin has been ordered. Your daughter’s excited for her big day. But are they ready to navigate the physical, social, and emotional changes of entering this new phase of life?
Your child’s bar or bas mitzvah is fast approaching.
But are they ready?
Endorsed by leading Rabbanim
This program is hafla vafela.
– Rav Elya Ber Wachtfogel
I’m 100% behind this.
– Rabbi Yosef Elefant
Equip your child with the knowledge and skills to navigate their teenage years.
Give them a strong Torah foundation and a positive self-image.
Foster open, respectful communication with your child for years to come.
“I’ve observed a clear difference in the boys who have participated [in BigTalks’ Coaching]. They stand out as well-guided and informed. In challenging situations, it’s evident that they have the tools and understanding to handle issues effectively. This education truly makes a noticeable impact.”
Harav Mordechai Eisenbach, Menahel, Telshe Chicago
Do you answer “yes” to any of these?
Struggling with how to prepare your child for the emotional and physical changes of adolescence?
Seeking a Torah-aligned approach to educating your child without inadvertently causing shame or guilt?
Concerned about your child learning sensitive information from unreliable sources?
You're not alone.
At BigTalks, we’re here to support your child (and you!) through these transformative years of their life.
The bar/bas mitzvah milestone is more than a beautiful simcha; it marks a profound transition—a time when our sons and daughters begin to grapple with changes that shape their identity and relationships.
The BigTalks’ Bar/Bas Mitzvah Coaching Program, steeped in the wisdom of Torah and illuminated by insights in modern adolescent psychology, offers a groundbreaking approach to guiding your child through their pre-adolescent years.
Led by a team of mental health professionals experienced in chinuch, our guidance is both aligned with Torah hashkafah and informed by contemporary understandings of the physical, emotional, and social well-being of our children.
This dual perspective ensures that your child emerges as a confident, well-adjusted teen, deeply attuned to their neshamos, and well-prepared for the unique challenges and joys that teenagehood brings.
The bar/bas mitzvah milestone is more than a beautiful simcha; it marks a profound transition—a time when our sons and daughters begin to grapple with changes that shape their identity and relationships.
The BigTalks’ Bar/Bas Mitzvah Coaching Program, steeped in the wisdom of Torah and illuminated by insights in modern adolescent psychology, offers a groundbreaking approach to guiding your child through their pre-adolescent years.
Led by a team of mental health professionals experienced in chinuch, our guidance is both aligned with Torah hashkafah and informed by contemporary understandings of the physical, emotional, and social well-being of our children.
This dual perspective ensures that your child emerges as a confident, well-adjusted teen, deeply attuned to their neshamos, and well-prepared for the unique challenges and joys that teenagehood brings.
I appreciated the sensitive balance of information and modesty. My son felt validated and understood throughout the session.
D.R.
The session was a great ice breaker to start conversations in an open and healthy Torah-based manner.
M.S.
The program provided me with a clear framework for presenting these topics from a Torah perspective.
R.L.
How it works
Our coaching journey begins with a 45-minute “schmooze,” a vital first step to empower both you and your child in handling sensitive yet crucial topics. This session is divided into two parts: one for you and one for your child.
25-minute Parent Consultation:
This session focuses on preparing you to foster a supportive and knowledgeable environment for your child’s development.
20-minute Personalized Child Conversation:
Tailored specifically to your child’s needs, this conversation offers psychoeducation about their development. It addresses their questions, challenges, and concerns, ensuring the content is appropriate for their maturity and awareness levels.
Investment: $360
Post-session support
When you purchase a schmooze, you will also receive:
Access to the BigTalks Digital Toolkit, including the downloadable guidebook and video:
- The Guidebook offers parents resources on managing teenage behavior, establishing boundaries, fostering modesty, knowing when to seek professional help, addressing common questions, and enhancing communication with their child.
- The video presentation models the schmooze the coach had with your child, allowing you to use the same terminology when you speak to them
Annual Check-Ins for 3 Years:
These brief follow-up sessions with your child offer continued support and provide an opportunity to address any new questions or issues that arise over time.
You can also purchase additional coaching sessions at a discounted rate for a more in-depth exploration of personal development or other specific areas your child is interested in, tailored to their needs.
Some of the topics we’ll explore
In our comprehensive conversation, we delve into fundamental topics that are essential for your child’s development.
Our goal is to cultivate self-awareness, encourage open lines of communication, and develop reliable support systems—so your child can navigate these transformative years feeling confident and supported.
Life’s Purpose
Exploring the deeper meaning and spiritual significance of life in the context of Yiddishkeit
The Natural Changes of Puberty
Addressing the physical and emotional transformations that occur during puberty, providing a clear Torah perspective.
Awareness of & Navigating Challenges
Cultivating an understanding of the typical obstacles adolescents face and offering strategies and insights to help your child manage these challenges
Resilience After Setbacks
Teaching the importance of resilience and how to bounce back from life’s obstacles with strength and faith.
Personal Safety & Boundaries
Ensuring your child understands the importance of personal safety, boundaries, and privacy while eliminating any association with shame.
Open Lines of Communication
Encouraging and facilitating open, honest communication between you and your child, fostering a supportive family environment.
Halachos Pertaining to Kedusha
Discussing relevant Jewish ideas to deepen your child’s understanding of their Yiddishkeit and its practical application in daily life.
What parents and educators are saying about BigTalks’ Coaching
BigTalks taught me how to present ideas simply and effectively, providing just enough information to be clear without being overwhelming or causing further issues.
A.C.
The session was very informative and helpful. I’m so grateful for the information and the script for effective communication.
D.K.
This was exactly what I needed to initiate important conversations with my children.
M.L.
As a single mother, it helped me simplify complex topics into normal terms and language, making it more relatable for my child.
S.S.
I appreciated the inclusion of biological terms for educational purposes, followed by the respectful use of Torah terms. The list of practical steps to manage desires was very helpful.
A.L.
This approach highlights that growing up and the challenges it brings are a part of life designed by Hashem. It teaches boys that they are inherently good and that life is about making choices, without guilt. The guidance on using one’s mind and free choice in a healthy, Torah-dik way is invaluable. And if mistakes are made, the message is clear: do teshuva and move on! The program is excellent.
S.R.
Frequently asked questions
You can inform your child that you’ve arranged a meeting with a Bar/Bas Mitzvah coach. This coach specializes in helping children smoothly transition into their teenage years. The meeting will address the physical and emotional changes they’ll experience as they grow, providing them with essential information and preparation. The coach will also serve as a supportive figure whom your child can turn to for help or guidance whenever needed.
BigTalks developed this program in 2019 (תש”ע) with the guidance of gedolei Yisroel and rabbanim. Since then, we have successfully conducted this Schmooze with nearly 1000 pre-teens. Our toolkits, designed for parents and mechanchim, have been widely published and utilized globally. The Bar/Bas Mitzvah coaching program is a pilot initiative aimed at expanding this preventative education to pre-teens worldwide.
No, the focus of this coaching program is on personal growth and equipping your son with the necessary skills to navigate his teenage years. It does not include training in leining, haftorah, or delivering a pshetel.
Yes, We have counselors who are fluent in Yiddish, English, and conversational Hebrew. We ensure that communication is clear and comfortable for your child.
Currently, BigTalks offers this program primarily for early teenagers. We are developing an advanced program tailored for 16-year-olds, and our counselors can provide support for teenagers and young adults of all ages.
Our BigTalks counselors are attentive to any concerns and can provide extra support as needed for both boys and girls.
“Virtual” refers to live sessions conducted online via a computer or tablet, allowing for interactive and engaging discussions in a virtual setting.
My child is already bar/bas mitzvah; is it too late for them to participate in the coaching program?
No, it’s not too late. Our coaching program is beneficial throughout the teenage years for both boys and girls. In some cases, it may be too early to start, but it’s never too late. If you’re unsure, please feel free to contact us for guidance.
In today’s fast-paced world, children are encountering the complexities of puberty and adolescence earlier than ever, sometimes as young as 9 or 10. While it might seem daunting to initiate conversations about such mature topics at this stage, addressing your child’s curiosity and concerns about their changing body and emotions is crucial for their mental well-being. Early discussion can alleviate much of the confusion, frustration, and anxiety they may face later. Trust your instincts—if you feel it’s time to guide your child through these changes, our coaching program is designed to support you and your child through this critical period, even before they reach bar or bas mitzvah age.
Baruch Hashem, many rabbanim are familiar with and supportive of our program. For instance, R’ Chaim Kanievsky ZT”L gave his bracha after learning about our program, wishing for it to result in a kiddush Hashem. Other notable rabbanim include R’ Gamilel Rabinovitz, R’ Yaakov Meir Schechter, the Navomintzker Rebbe ZT”L, R’ Avrohom Chaim Levin ZT”L, R’ Shmuel Y. Levin ZT”L, R’ Elya Ber Wachtfogel, R’ Aron Feldman, R’ Shmuel Kamenetzky, R’ Shmuel Fuerst, R’ Yosef Elefant, R’ Binyamin Eisenberger, R’ Yaakov Bender, and the Vaad Hachinuch of Torah Umesorah, among many others. We encourage discussing the program with your local Rov for his approval.
BigTalks is actively training counselors from diverse cultural backgrounds to become certified BigTalks coaches. This inclusive approach ensures that parents from any group, including Yeshivish, Chassidish, Heimish, and all levels of Judaism, can find a coach who resonates with their cultural identity. Once our counselors are certified, we will update our website with their bios and availability. For this pilot program, Rabbi Shmuel Tenenbaum, MSMFT and founder of BigTalks, will be coaching the boys, while Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, LCSW and co-author of the BigTalks Girls toolkit, will be coaching the girls. Please note, as we train other professionals from various Jewish communities to become certified BigTalks coaches, trainees may join the virtual sessions. Rest assured, all information shared will remain confidential.
If your child has already participated in the BigTalks conversation and you believe they could benefit from additional support, open communication, or ongoing check-ins and coaching, then scheduling a coaching session can be helpful.
Some conversations shouldn’t wait
As your child approaches this pivotal moment in their life, you can ensure they’re prepared for the significant changes and challenges they’ll face. At BigTalks, we’re here to help you and your child navigate this transition with confidence and peace of mind. Get started today!