Created for mothers of girls ages 9-14, BigTalks for Girls gives you the tools to navigate sensitive conversations with your daughter about her adolescent development within a Torah framework, while giving her a healthy, positive perspective of herself and her changing body.
“I don’t know where to start—or how”
“I’m not sure how much or how little I should share”
“I’m worried that I might say the wrong thing”
“I don’t want to overwhelm her or make her anxious”
“I need to undo harmful messaging she’s absorbed from her peers”
“I want to give her both the right hashkafas and the right information”
If you’ve ever had any of these concerns, you’re not alone.
How do we know? Because these are real quotes from real mothers. Mothers trying to raise healthy girls and instill them with Torah values. Mothers like you.
Talking to your daughter about the physical and emotional changes she’s experiencing can be intimidating, especially if these conversations were not modeled for you when you were her age.
How do I know what information she’s ready for?
How do I discuss these delicate topics in a way that enhances my daughter’s self-esteem, preserves her innocence, keeps her safe, and is aligned with Torah hashkafos?
You may wonder:
What’s the best way to broach these ideas for the first time?
How do I know what information she’s ready for?
How do I discuss these delicate topics in a way that enhances my daughter’s self-esteem, preserves her innocence, keeps her safe, and is aligned with Torah hashkafos?
You asked. We listened.
After the success of our BigTalks Toolkit for Boys, which has been translated into 4 languages and sold over 2,500 copies in just one year, we received an outpouring of requests for a similar resource for mothers of pre-teen and teen girls.
Developed in close consultation with mechanchos, therapists, and specialists, BigTalks for Girls was carefully designed to empower mothers with the confidence to have crucial conversations with their daughters while planting seeds of trust and openness.
Because it’s not just one “talk.” It’s the beginning of a bond that will lay the foundation for candid, ongoing communication throughout her teenage years and beyond.
What are the goals of BigTalks for Girls?
Communication. Become your daughter’s trusted go-to source for information, especially regarding sensitive topics relating to adolescence.
Hashkafah: Empower your daughter to develop healthy self-esteem and a positive self-image based on her inherent worth as a tzelem Elokim and her identity as a neshama within a guf.
Education: Prepare your daughter for the changes that happen to her body as she grows, normalize these changes, and reassure her that she’s not alone.
Safety: Teach your daughter about personal boundaries, what to do if those boundaries are violated, and how to protect herself from unhealthy people and unsafe situations.
What’s included?
The program features a video presentation of Rabbi Tenenbaum teaching the information to ensure that the messages you convey to your child are clear and presented with the correct tone and sensitivities.
The Guidebook
- Tips on how to make yourself an “askable” parent
- Step-by-step guidance for initiating and navigating delicate discussions through the lens of Torah hashkafa. Topics include:
- Physical and emotional changes
- Weight and dieting
- Personal hygiene
- Getting her period
- Setting boundaries
- Personal safety
- Babysitting safety
- Bite-sized conversation starters, talking points, scripts, stories, and mashalim
- Commonly asked questions and answers
- A tear-out card for your daughter with practical advice on what to do the first time she gets her period and other tips related to adolescent changes.
The Presentation
- A short video presentation by Mrs. Rachel Zimmerman, MA LCPC that covers the topics in the guide, which you can watch on your own and/or with your daughter.
What will my daughter learn?
A concept of inherent self-worth based on her connection with Hashem and her infinite value as a tzelem Elokim
How to respect and appreciate her body as a partner to her neshama, while also valuing her neshama as paramount.
What to expect in the coming years as her body develops, and how to take care of her health and body during these changes
How to maintain the privacy of her body while avoiding ill-intending individuals and unsafe situations
What will I (as the parent) learn?
How to know the right time to speak to your daughter, and how to broach these subjects in ways that she’ll be receptive to
How to present sensitive topics in a positive, comforting way via both verbal communication and body language
How to clearly and accurately respond to your daughter’s questions about adolescence and puberty
Professional guidance, referrals, and information rooted in both Torah and mental health resources
My son is only in elementary school. Isn’t it too soon to speak to him about this topic?
Many parents avoid talking to their young sons about puberty, worrying that they might make their kids even more curious about it. But kids today are growing up faster, and many are showing interest in these topics as early as 9 or 10.
While it may feel awkward and uncomfortable, speaking to your son about his body now could be vitally important for his mental health as he grows—and prevent much frustration, confusion, and anxiety later. So, if your intuition tells you that it’s time to talk to your son about puberty, then this program is the perfect fit for you.
How it works:
Once you purchase the program, we will mail the toolkit which includes the guidebook and the video presentation.
Watch the video presentation without your child. Review the guidebook and script.
Have the conversation with your child, using the provided guidebook and script. If you prefer, you can watch the video together with your child.
Review the remaining materials provided as a guide to address any follow-up questions you or your son may have.
If you have any questions or would like a referral, we welcome you to reach out to us at:
What rabbanim and parents are saying
As a parent and mental health advocate, I have tremendous hakaras hatov to Rabbi Tenenbaum and BigTalks for developing and offering these potentially life-saving tools to Klal Yisroel. Rabbi Tenenbaum has thought about every detail that parents and adolescent boys may need when they are ready to have this special and sometimes uncomfortable conversation. Through his warm and accepting manner, Rabbi Tenenbaum puts us at ease and helps us embrace and feel supported by this incredible toolkit. Every parent of young boys should have this toolkit in their toolbox!
Mrs. Helena Cohen
Oh, how I wish this had been done for me! Your masterpiece curriculum must be implemented everywhere, with the purpose to train bochurim to grow in kedusha by being prepared. However, another extremely important reason to teach it is pikuach nefoshos! You will save so many boys from depression, and worse. Imagine mesivtas and yeshiva gedolos with no boys struggling so anxiously with this! It will be Gan Eden. And you, Rabbi Tenenbaum, the Nachshon ben Aminadav, will get the schar. Ashreichem! Yehi rotzoin milifnei avinu shebashomayim shetisboreich b’chol habrochois, shetamshich b’avoidas hakoidesh mitoich brius harchova ve’simcha. V’sheyachad im rayascha tiru v’tirvu harbei nachas mikol hamishpacha ha’yekara.
Menahel, an NY Yeshiva
The saying goes “ An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” but in this case it is worth a lifetime of emotional and mental health. Educating your child in a healthy manner doesn’t just help them for their teenage years, it will also be a tremendous help for them in marriage as well. I cannot wait for the day that this is streamlined into our chinuch system which will result in real doros “yeshorim”. Thank you, R’ Shmuel Tenenbaum, for helping my family personally and for really making a difference in the world that so many will benefit from. Hashem should give you koach to continue your Avodas Hakodesh.